Johnny Depp is (finally) Getting Married (shocking)

After 10 years together with his long time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis and have two children Lily-Rose, nine and Jack, six, this twisted couple finally decided to tied the knot in April 2009. There absolutly No (yet) official confirmation about this rumor, but our fabulous bichtalker team recently found out why the couple not married in the first place even tho their so "crazy-in love" with each other.

Depp has always said the reason he and Paradis hadn't married is because he loves her last name.
“It would be a shame to ruin her last name! It's so perfect -- Vanessa Paradis. So beautiful. It would be such a drag to stick her with Paradis-Depp. It's like a flat note!” Depp told MTV UK.

Johnny Depp was like bla...bla...bla...yeah right,...like that was the real reason why they didn't get married. So...while writing this post we"bitchtalker" wondering what the hell is change?
It's Johnny suddenly realizing that her last name wasn't all that spectacular??huh??anyone??

or it is because of this

... VS this

Johnny Depp keep lookin hotter and hotter every year while she looking sickenly thinner, thinner and thinner almost like he (Depp) sucks all her meat and blood to work on his fine muscle...hehe ;p

the conversation between Johnny (J) and Vannessa (V) will go like this

V : We need to get married bientôt, chéri!

J : ...but mon chéri, J'adore your last name...(rolling eyes and thinking i don't want to get married...i don't want to get married)

V : quoi?? excuses...excuses...excuses, who the hell cares about my last name and frankly who the hell cares about me, the only people out there cares about it's you and your fine ass.

J : (* looking smug and mutters* that's right biaaatch)...chéri don't worry people do care about you (they care about what the hell am i still doing with you) i'm sure they all remember you in that movie...you know the one about something, and stuff, and there's a girl and a guy,..stuff and something like that...love...anyway be patient we don't have to rush all the wedding things.

V : rushing...helooo we only been together for like 10 years...

J : but...but...

V : I see what you are doing,...you just don't want us to get married didn't you...

J : Not saying anything...but looking so damn relieved

V : Fine we don't have to get married, but give me back my blood that you've been sucking for all those year to keep you young, stong, fresh and healthy, i don't want to keep looking like an old skeleton that you've been hiding on the back of your closet.

J : Whats my option??

and he obeyed (to get tied down)

-end of the story-

P.S Also, you can use this conversation as the imaginary conversation between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (Jolie get Johnny Depp lines whilst Brad Pitt get Vanessa's...except the line about the movie things, you know 'cause Brad is still famous, and let's face it, all Angelina Jolie movie besides Girl Interrupted is actually a crap, anyway...you get the point!!)




P.P.S Okaaay that was kind of twisted. Don't mind us, we just green with envy.