BitchTalk

I'm Bad, I'm Bad, You Know It

2009-07-25T03:49:00.000-07:00

Mounting a full-on comeback following his career-killing domestic abuse of Rihanna, Chris Brown was spotted hitting up a Hollywood recording studio yesterday (July 22).

The “No Air” hitmaker looked preoccupied as he stepped out of his car, chatting away incessantly on his BlackBerry and trying to avoid the paparazzi.

The person on the other line of the phone might be his new girlfriend whom he met back in his anger management class. Naomi Campbell, wethinks.

We Miss Her Idiotic Remarks

2009-07-25T02:19:00.000-07:00

Megan Fox says that she is almost always friends with guys.

“I actually only had one female friend growing up,” said Fox, who was busy screening her new movie “Jennifer’s Body” at Comic-Con on July 23.

“Most of my friends were boys. I was such a tomboy. I always enjoyed doing guy things. So I really didn’t get along with the girls in that aspect,” she adds.

The 23-year-old also finally cleaned up the rumors about turning down a role in the next James Bond film.

“The report about Megan Fox turning down a Bond movie is completely not true,” her rep said. “There have been no discussions nor any offers. Megan is a fan of the Bond movies.

Nice try, Megan. How about admitting that you were actually born a guy, huh? After all, rumors about it have been all over the Internet for quite some time. That's why you stick with that Beverly Hills 90210 has-been Brian Austin Green, because he's the only one who accepts your dark past whereas other guys jumped out the window after seeing your "fox", if you know what we mean. *wink wink*

And how can there be any discussion about offering her a role in a Bond movie? Bond movies require REAL women with perfect bodies, you know, flawless. Have you readers payed any attention to her fingers? Now take a close look at her thumb.

We hear that it's called a clubbed thumb. Whatever. In BitchTalker's world, we call it spatula.

You wanna know who else is also a tranny?

Fergie

Grab the crotch, honey. Grab it like it's hot.

P.S: Please tell us Megan Fox was really a man. Women can't possibly look THAT good! ='(

Barton's Getting Well. Yaay!

2009-07-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

While still currently in the psychiatric ward, Mischa Barton's publicist released a statement this morning about her condition.

Her people are saying that she is "still seeking treatment but making improvements."

Her rep and the CW also confirm that she will be back to work next week for the beginning of production on her show Ashton Kutcher-produced show about models, The Beautiful People.

Get well soon, Mischa! Pleeeeeease come back to work immediately for the show! Keep the show going with it's good looking cast and fab fashion style, since we no longer have high hopes for the upcoming season of Gossip Girl after looking at these pics.

Gone are the gorgeous and sophisticated clothes worn by Blair Waldorf. Seems like the wardrobe for the next season of GG will be sponsored by Adidas.

And on another set, Leighton can be seen wearing some dress made from aluminium foil with oil spilled from some tanker.

Boo Hoo, I'm So Depressed, Gimme More Chocolate!!

2009-07-23T05:06:00.000-07:00

Recently single Jessica Simpson is said to be "depressed" since her break up with Tony Romo.

And while her friends and family have been encouraging Simpson to go out and have fun, sources say that the singer "feels she's being judged by the world and opts to hide out at home."

But can she REALLY feel safe in her house? BitchTalkers think her friends and fam encourage her to go out because they themselves can't avoid talking about the elephant in the room.

No pun intended. There's a HUGE elephant in the room!

It's such an unhealthy thing to stay at home all day, Jessica dear, don't you think it's better to catch up on the things you haven't done lately, like, say, WORK OUT? Don't you remember that Tony's coach says he should not operate heavy machineries?

Whatshername Joins the Whatever

2009-07-23T04:51:00.000-07:00

Former Clueless actress Alicia Silverstone joined the cast of the Broadway play Time Stands Still.

Per Variety, the play is about the right to personal happiness in a world of suffering. Laura Linney, 45, plays a photojournalist struggling to readjust to domestic life in New York after she and her foreign correspondent partner return from a war zone. Alicia, 32, will play the seemingly superficial girlfriend of the couple’s magazine writer friend.

The hasbeens always end up on Broadway, don't they? And why the heck does she look like Kristen drunken-face Stewart in this pic? Does planet Earth need two of those zombie-looking creatures? *shivers*

Whatcha lookin' at, Whit?

2009-07-15T21:37:00.000-07:00

Whitney Houston unveiled the album cover for her new album, I Look To You, out September 1.

Wethinks the album title is a bit ironic. We suppose since it's titled "I Look to You" so it must mean that Whitney's picture there shows that she's looking AT us.

But IS she looking at us?

We find at least one of her eyes is. But how 'bout the other one?

She MIGHT be looking at us, but it sorta seems that she's looking somewhere else, too...

This is where we tilt and move our heads everywhere trying to figure out where she's actually looking. But it's our loss. She must be staring at some cracks waiting for her behind the camera.

Hot Gay Alert

2009-04-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

Danny Noriega has handed down his throne. There's a new hot gay on AI!
G is going crazy over Adam Lambert, whose performace have earned Simon Cowell's standing applause.

But already, homophobics have expressed their dislikes, just like what they had done to Danny "sexy" Noriega.

Reality check, people, these gays are hawt! and Lambert is like the only thing that makes this season's AI worth watching.

click here to see him performing like a true diva.
and click here for more pics of the hottie kissing some guy. It's past G's bedtime and she desperately needs to get her beauty sleep, therefore she decided not to write so much tonite.

G will make the most of these moments before he gets booted off by those stupid haters. =((

Invation of Yetis

2009-03-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

We don't know why...but apparently the yetis are "in" this season!!

at least that's what Sarah Jessica Parker and Juliette Lewis thought.

evidence 1

evidence 2

and looks like Rachel Bilson sort of agree with them.
but Rachel wasn't all that sure, so instead of doing it Yeti all the way a la Jessica Alba, she tone it down a little with this yeti's inspiration dress.

either way she put it, it still looks like Yeti.

So for you guys the fashion victim, headed down to the nearest wood to get yourself a perfect shiny new Yeti's fur.

With Love

"BitchTalker"

Thank You Lord

2009-03-16T07:07:00.000-07:00

Remember This

I'm sure you're not!!
Cause why the hell on earth would you remember some random trucker dude named Bubba vacationing in Hawaii .
Which is why this next picture had nothing to do with that random trucker thingy,
cause this hot stuff is Channing Tatum strike a few poses for Vanity Fair.

More Yetis

2009-03-16T01:50:00.000-07:00

Is there a forest fire happening again in California? Because some of the yetis have managed to escaped and now can be seen wandering around freely in la la land. Some have even managed to travel even farther to New York.

That chick who thinks she's so lucky to have a cute boyfriend that she decides to take him again even after he abused her and threatened to kill her, Rihanna, keeps warm in a furry wrap while dining at New York’s West Village hot spot, Italian restaurant Da Silvano, on Saturday (March 14).

Or perhaps this is her way of preventing future attacks from her lover, you see, by covering herself with big punching bags. Geez, don't be so pathetic, girlfriend. You just gotta learn how not to commit more fashion -and boyfriend- faux pas.

Ay Dios Miu Miu!

2009-03-13T06:18:00.000-07:00

Jessica Alba keeps warm in a feathered top over her brown dress at the Miu Miu Fashion Show during the 2009 Paris Fashion Week on Thursday (March 12).

This is what BitchTalkers have been worried about when hot chicks produce children. They feel their bodies get fatter than ever and that's when they start wearing dark colors from head to toe. And who does Jessica look up to for inspiration? Yeti.

Ripped Tights

2009-01-27T01:21:00.000-08:00

Hold on one second people, is this a new trend that we Bitchtalker didn’t know about?

We feel extremely insulted.

This is the new "recession" to die for look that everyone will be wearing because they're broke and can't afford decent clothes.

It's perfect.

Perfectly hideous.

Look at slutty Miley and Shenae-whats her face Grimes, of course, for we are to think about fashion guru we would instantly think of these munchkins.

They supporting the kind of 80’s grunge/hipster look, whereas everybody think they are being hugely unique and individual but yet they just share the same bad taste on clothing..

what's up with the trashy-looking trend we saw nowadays ??

... it's a sad trend, it's a sad world we're living!!!
apparently not everyone check Sartorialist for their fashion preference.

Johnny Depp is (finally) Getting Married (shocking)

2009-01-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

After 10 years together with his long time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis and have two children Lily-Rose, nine and Jack, six, this twisted couple finally decided to tied the knot in April 2009. There absolutly No (yet) official confirmation about this rumor, but our fabulous bichtalker team recently found out why the couple not married in the first place even tho their so "crazy-in love" with each other.

Depp has always said the reason he and Paradis hadn't married is because he loves her last name.
“It would be a shame to ruin her last name! It's so perfect -- Vanessa Paradis. So beautiful. It would be such a drag to stick her with Paradis-Depp. It's like a flat note!” Depp told MTV UK.

Johnny Depp was like bla...bla...bla...yeah right,...like that was the real reason why they didn't get married. So...while writing this post we"bitchtalker" wondering what the hell is change?
It's Johnny suddenly realizing that her last name wasn't all that spectacular??huh??anyone??

or it is because of this

... VS this

Johnny Depp keep lookin hotter and hotter every year while she looking sickenly thinner, thinner and thinner almost like he (Depp) sucks all her meat and blood to work on his fine muscle...hehe ;p

the conversation between Johnny (J) and Vannessa (V) will go like this

V : We need to get married bientôt, chéri!

J : ...but mon chéri, J'adore your last name...(rolling eyes and thinking i don't want to get married...i don't want to get married)

V : quoi?? excuses...excuses...excuses, who the hell cares about my last name and frankly who the hell cares about me, the only people out there cares about it's you and your fine ass.

J : (* looking smug and mutters* that's right biaaatch)...chéri don't worry people do care about you (they care about what the hell am i still doing with you) i'm sure they all remember you in that movie...you know the one about something, and stuff, and there's a girl and a guy,..stuff and something like that...love...anyway be patient we don't have to rush all the wedding things.

V : rushing...helooo we only been together for like 10 years...

J : but...but...

V : I see what you are doing,...you just don't want us to get married didn't you...

J : Not saying anything...but looking so damn relieved

V : Fine we don't have to get married, but give me back my blood that you've been sucking for all those year to keep you young, stong, fresh and healthy, i don't want to keep looking like an old skeleton that you've been hiding on the back of your closet.

J : Whats my option??

and he obeyed (to get tied down)

-end of the story-

P.S Also, you can use this conversation as the imaginary conversation between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (Jolie get Johnny Depp lines whilst Brad Pitt get Vanessa's...except the line about the movie things, you know 'cause Brad is still famous, and let's face it, all Angelina Jolie movie besides Girl Interrupted is actually a crap, anyway...you get the point!!)

P.P.S Okaaay that was kind of twisted. Don't mind us, we just green with envy.

Dahsyat..mak...

2009-01-16T08:08:00.000-08:00

Highly recommended

For our loyal Bitchtalker reader who is looking for a good time bitching about life in general, we totally recommended you guys to watch program TV called Dahsyat on RCTI every freakin day from 9 to 11 A.M.

Since we’re 21 something unambitious, no career, with no plans for the future what so ever lazy bitches on the quest to finish our skripsi this means holiday alias nganggur everyday.

With nothing to do with our life, what seems better than flippin through channels (trust me it’s not that much of a channel) and watch our sucky local television program, suddenly we stumble upon this what seems to be life changing television program called Dahsyat and ever since that first encounter, how do we say this delicately…we’re hooked!! Seriously if you guys haven’t watch it please, go ahead take a little peak, guaranteed it’s an addiction, you can’t deny it (haluu G, yes I’m talking to you :P). We don’t even have to set the alarm anymore to catch it (please bitches 9 A.M it’s early, don’t be so judgmental), as we’re saying we don’t need an alarm anymore cause we’re automatically wake up every time the show it’s about to begin (and fall back again to sleep near the end of the show).

After being an avid watcher for quite sometime now, we finally can figure out what the main attraction of the show that capture both our eyes and our heart:

Luna Maya is one of the Dahsyat presenter, Luna Maya used to be hot, we used to think that she is hot, after watching that show we still can’t believe that the same Luna Maya we love and adore, well we’re always know that she is stoopid but at least all she did back then it’s just to shut up, smile and look pretty, but on this show….wow…get ready for the whole new Luna Maya, the other side that you don’t even know existed, the other side that will do her muuuuch better if that side doesn’t existed . I mean come on don’t she have a manager, an image maker or someone sane to try to talk her out acting crazy like that… we’ve seen her on Extravaganza, it was okaaay (okay it’s not okaaay, it’s lame) but on Dahsyat…she is too crazy…not crazy funny but crazy crazy like who the hell let that chick out of mental hospital crazy (we’re probably over reacted) anyway…we keep waiting, waiting and waiting (this mean we have to religiously watch the show everyday) is this some kind of a sick joke, come on Luna Maya can be that pukingly kampungan, but nope as the day goes by, we don’t see any sign of hot old Luna Maya all that left was there is Luna Maya the aspired dangdut singer with her ‘famous’ goyang geol move, who like piggy back ride…and have an unhealthy obsession over Peterpan vocalist, which is in our opinion more awesome then the hot old, shut up and look pretty Luna Maya.

The two other tuyuls Olga and Rafi Ahmad that hosting the show with Luna Maya ain't so bad either, their tackiness almost unbearable to watch, but lucky for us Bitchtalker the more (kampungan) the merrier ;p

Honest to blog we’re not making this up, it’s true go ahead and watch Dahsyat, fantastic show ever…fabulous!!

P.S Someone (you know who you are) must be strongly disagree with the whole Dahsyat watching things…huahahaha…I just had to wrote “WE” I don’t want you to feel left out darling.

Peace out :P

Gossip Mom, Anyone?

2009-01-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

Oh, for God's sake.

Gossip Girl's Lily and Rufus spinoff is set.

According to a report, the new pilot will be based on “a teenage version of Lily van der Woodsen, played by Kelly Rutherford in Los Angeles.” And the best part - it will take place in the 1980s!

A statement from Warner Bros tells, “Used to being a ‘have,’ attending a wealthy Montecito boarding school and living the high life, Lily is now forced into being a ‘have not,’ living deep in the Valley she once made fun of, and going to public school. Caught between two worlds, Lily dives into the fast-paced Sunset Strip and the Hollywood lifestyle of the ‘80s, journeying over the hill to a world of wealth and excess that used to be her own.”

Okay. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. BitchTalkers have finally managed to stay calm and decided to join the festivities, for we are known as the best imaginary scriptwriters ever. So come on readers, help BitchTalkers as we imagine every detail of how the spinoff will be. Let's start with the characters and their clothing style.

This is Lily

and this is Lincoln Hawk

And here's how the conversation between them will sound like (complete with 80's slangs. BitchTalkers have done their research.).

Lily: My mother told me to stay away from airheads like you.

Rufus: Yeah? you think I would want some bimbette like you? Altho I must admit you are pretty bodacious.

Lily: First of all, thank you. Second of all, get off my face, you scumbag!

Rufus: Skank!

Lily: Stud!

Rufus: Excuse me? Did you say, "stud"?

Lily: Oh, gag me with a spoon. I'm in deep shit.

Rufus: Hey, chill. I think it's awesome. Let's do the nasty.

Lily: I'm stoked!

(And that's how they got their baby.)

Go, Balls, Go!

2009-01-15T03:11:00.002-08:00

Here's Kim Kardashian going to the 3rd Street Dance Studio last night in West Hollywood to film scenes for her new workout video.

A workout video, yes, of course! Because if we talk about great bodies, we will instantly think of Kim K! BitchTalkers have already imagined how her video would look like. "OK, u guys! Today's workout will start with the basic sitting. Get your exercise balls ready. I happen to have two of them already planted back here."

Now I See You, Now I Don't

2009-01-15T02:43:00.000-08:00

Jonathan Rhys Meyers hits up Showtime’s 2009 Winter TCA Party on Wednesday (January 14) at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.

The 31-year-old Irish actor plays Henry VIII on Showtime’s The Tudors, which kicks off its third season kicks on Sunday, April 15.

Finally he manages to have a normal look on his face. We BitchTalkers aren't so sure of what happened, but we're almost certain he used to be friends with Deddy Corbuzier or some other magician and learnt some of their hypnotizing tricks, so he started to strike his own "signature pose" back then.

Brrr, It's Cold in Here

2009-01-15T01:51:00.000-08:00

Doing their best to stay warm, Leighton Meester and Jessica Szohr reacted to the freezing New York City weather by clasping their hands together and cozying up on the “Gossip Girl” set on January 14.

The two young actresses were just getting ready to start filming after having their make-up done in their trailers, joining Penn Badgley and Blake Lively for the day’s filming.

Looking a bit chubby, Leighton. Is she on the set of Shallow Hal: the Sequel or somethin'?

Hate to Announce This, But...

2009-01-15T01:03:00.000-08:00

Prison Break is cancelled, y'all!

Fox announced Tuesday that the current season of the show, which has been airing on the network for four years, will be its last. Entertainment Weekly columnist Michael Aussiello reported on Tuesday.

"Prison Break had a hell of a run but it's at the end of its run," Fox entertainment president Kevin Reilly said at the Television Critics Association winter press tour in L.A. "We'll put that one in the win column."

Somewhere, our beloved BitchTalker R is about to jump off a bridge.

Fashion Files

2009-01-15T00:57:00.000-08:00

Trend Alert on what NOT to wear!!

The chick in the picture is Shenae Grimes. You guys must be thinking WTF, who the hell or what the hell is this ugly thing. Is this thing even famous? Oh yeah she's famous, at least she think she is.
We don’t particularly care about her nor do we care about their horrendous attempt to remake the greatest show ever Beverly Hills 90210 by creating The New 90210 (seriously big mistake, where do they find these people, I swear to you everybody looks like rats, tonggos semua aja gituuu) not to mention the so very Ram Punjabi acting coach and Dynasty plotline…we’re sooo beyond over it.
But we do care when these ugly thing showed up places and looking like disgusting hobo and give her most genuinely fake smile thinking that she is something important, that all the paparazzi following her around, all the guys falls over her feet and all the girls thinking how awesome her fashion style is, how very unique she is…and bla...bla...bla...for god sake thingy…you only had one show that nobody even cares about.
Beside i'm sure all the paps only take your picture to set a standard for other fashion disaster in the making, their messege is YOU DON”T WANNA BE THIS LOW!!

Golden Globe Thingy

2009-01-12T20:36:00.001-08:00

Chris Pine (in Burberry) and Zachary Quinto invade the 2009 Gloden Globe Award, and then attend the HBO after party held at Circa 55 Restaurant, Poolside at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Sunday (January 11).

Together, Pine and Quinto presented Anna Paquin with her Best Actress-Drama award for her role as the vampire-loving Sookie Stackhouse in HBO’s True Blood. (JustJared)

We don't care about these guys, it's just that they pose like a gay couple.

Seriously, Dude...

2008-12-29T09:48:00.001-08:00

Surprise, surprise.
Matthew McConaughey's new movie Surfer, Dude is going straight to DVDs.

The story's about a soul-searching surfer who is experiencing an existential crisis.

A dude who surfs?? What is this, his reality show??

Oh, What a Creepy World

2008-12-26T09:06:00.000-08:00

It's winter season but somehow we found many shots of celebrities hanging around in their bikinis. Here's a shot of former supermodel Stephanie Seymour playing with her daughter Lilly on Flamands Beach in St. Barts, France.

The hot mama inspired us to have some fun so we BitchTalkers hit the beach early this day. But suddenly we saw something lurking in the water, with color so blinding it nearly poked us straight in the eyes. We saw a trout pout and guessed that it might be a fish of some kind but then we saw that it wore a bikini. A fish? In a bikini?

NOOO!!! IT'S DONATELLA VERSACE !!

We ran and ran, trying damn hard to get the hell away from the ugly creature, but when we finally got to the shore, we smelled something so stinky and saw dead fish washing up on the shore. We were so afraid to turn around to see what caused all this, but alas, we finally did.

GAAARHH!! IT'S AMY WINEHOUSE !!!

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (Thank GOD!)

2008-12-23T05:26:00.000-08:00

Robert Pattinson is so into his character Edward Cullen so much that he thinks he's a vampire and doesn't have to wash his hair for four straight years because hey, vampires don't eat, so they may as well don't have to shower, do they? But realizing that fleas have started to build a kingdom in his hair, he finally decides to chop it all off.

The “Twilight” drunken face was spotted showing off his short cut at Heathrow International Airport in London, England earlier today (December 22).

It's been said that his hair was already sold to someone with an equally disgusting taste of hairstyle. He quickly asked for a hair transplant, and fleas all over the kingdom were finally happy again.

Pete Wentz

Rihanna Sported Waves that Would Make Surfers All Over the World Happy

2008-11-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

Rihanna smiles for photographers at the 2008 UNICEF Snowflake Lighting at Grand Army Plaza in New York City on Wednesday.

And apparently someone out there thinks "actress" when he sees Rihanna.

With Gossip Girl creator Josh Schwartz about to create a younger version with its newest X-men installment, MTV thinks that Rihanna could follow Halle Berry and be the next Storm.

No doubt about it. With hair like that, she could be the next Tsunami.

The Video Has Arrived. Whoopee.

2008-11-17T23:31:00.000-08:00

Rihanna's “Rehab” music video was just released!

The video, which features Justin Timberlake, was shot last month in Vasquez Rocks Park, outside of Los Angeles. (Timberlake and Timbaland wrote the song and also contributed backing vocals in the bridge.)

They wrote the song? Rehab's basically Timberlake's "What Goes Around", he just changes the lyrics. How creative.

click here for the music video.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH (Not in a Good Way)

2008-11-16T00:37:00.001-08:00

Top: Hilary Duff's sister Haylie Duff; Bottom: Sarah Jessica Parker

Yuuuuuuck!

2008-11-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

With events like this happening in front of our eyes for free, we're thinking freakshows all over the world will soon go bankrupt.

Transgender man Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman, is expecting his second child, Barbara Walters announced on The View Wednesday morning.

Who Needs Porn when There's Disney

2008-11-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

Don't we all just love Disney's kids...

First, Vanessa Hudgens's nude photos surfaced on the Internet. Though we doubt anyone got turned on by her apple-sized boobies, the news was quite scandalicious.

Lately, some shirtless photos of Zac Efron is floating around and they are for sale. Fingers are pointing at Disney, alleging that they axed some scene of what was apparently a Zac Efron-led musical sequence in a boys’ group shower on “High School Musical 3″.

And NOW!

Cheetah Girls vocalist Adrienne Bailon has landed herself in a nude photo scandal. Several practically nude photos have been stolen from Adrienne's laptop, and the guy who took them is trying to shop them around to the highest bidder, according to TMZ.

Bailon was at JFK airport in late October when her laptop went missing. Later that day her record label received an anonymous phone call from a man saying he had her laptop and would return it for $1000.

The anonymous man was given the money, and in turn he returned Bailon's missing laptop ... except one minor thing was missing -- several semi-nude photos of Bailon.

The photos were taken as an anniversary present for her boyfriend Robert Kardashian - brother of Kim Kardashian.

The photos are now plastered all over the net. The Cheetah Girl has already put her attorney to work. Reps for the wannabe starlet have also issued a statement from Bailon in apology.

“I am deeply sorry for any pain this may have caused to her fans.”

Why should she be sorry? These Disney kids are innocent, we say, for they only learned these things from their ancestors. Daisy Duck never wears panties, right?

Not again!

2008-11-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

Girl,...we know you ugly and all but just when we think you couldn't possibly get any uglier and trashier, you keep proving us wrong, time and time, and time, and time again, damn, good job Miley!!

Are You Ready?

2008-11-05T07:41:00.000-08:00

For some Twilight awesomeness

Carefull
This creatures is coming at you on

November 21, 2008

Here is Robbert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart a.k.a Edward and Bella (on drugs) in all their glory!!

one word, actually make it two : Sexiness Overload!!

can't waiiiit!!!

Boring Couple Celebrates Halloween

2008-11-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

Hilary Duff and hockey player boyfriend Mike Comrie dressed up as Brangelina for Halloween.

Oh relllehhh??!! Pitt and Jolie? More like Dave Cook and Mimi Hitam to us.

Recently, the 21-year-old singer/actress released her “Reach Out” music video. It’s the first single off Hilary’s compilation album titled Best of Hilary Duff, due out November 11.

We have no idea how a 5 year old has already produced a "Best of.." album. We haven't even name ONE song of hers, and even if we could, we wouldn't call it the best.

Play the "What Happened to Tara Reid" Game

2008-11-02T10:23:00.001-08:00

What comes into your mind when seeing this picture? Here are our answers.
A. We're looking at a 90 year-old woman who stuffs her boobies with two papayas
B. Tara Reid has sucked out all fat - and everything else, apparently - in her stomach and ass, and uses them to fill up her boobies

Rescue Us From Her!

2008-11-02T09:07:00.000-08:00

On Thursday, Mariah Carey and her boy toy, Nick Cannon, hosted a Halloween party at NYC club Marquee. Here she is, dressing up as a fireman.... or fire..chick. Or fire..whale. Ironic, since on this year's Halloween my friends told me to dress up as a monster and so I came up with a Mariah Carey mask.

Rest In Peace

2008-10-20T09:35:00.001-07:00

Hollywood fashion critic, Mr. Blackwell has died.

The inventor of the famed "Worst Dressed List" passed away Sunday after suffering complications from an intestinal infection, according to his publicist, Harlan Boll.

His death comes more than two months after he collapsed at his Los Angeles home in August and fell into a coma. He regained consciousness a few days later and was put on antibiotics to treat an unspecified illness.

The star - real name Richard Sylvan Seltzer - began his career as an actor in the 1930s, But it was his Worst Dressed List that he became most noted for, and his scathing reviews have been published every year since its inception in 1960.

In his latter years, Blackwell suffered from ill health and was diagnosed with Bell's palsy in 2001.

Somewhere out there, Miley Cyrus and Katie Holmes are having a party.

We will miss you, Mr. Blackwell.

Sweetie VS Yucky

2008-10-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

Dakota Fanning is a cheerleader for her LA-area school, Campbell Hall. Here she is at a game this past weekend.

We used to loathe her for being too mature beyond her years, but oh well, sometimes even we BitchTalkers have to admit that the girl looks really good these days. She should tap herself on the shoulder too, for going through puberty gracefully. Girlfriend got skills. Unlike that useless skank Miley Cyrus. She couldn't even behave well for a minute. Her she is, licking her lips as she cheers on model beau Justin Godknowswho walking the runway at Christian Audigier’s American Lord fashion show on Wednesday in Culver City, Calif. And judging by the picture, her mom is hollering "Cheers from the skanks!"

Yowzer!

2008-10-18T12:09:00.000-07:00

Having a marvelous time abroad, Christina Aguilera was spotted out to dinner with her husband Jordan Bratman last night in London, England.

The “Ain’t No Other Man” starlet was looking frikkin curvy in a cleavage-baring beige-pink evening gown underneath a black wool topcoat while her hubby donned a classy black tuxedo... and a depressed face.

We get depressed to, Jordan, to see your supposedly beautiful wife start to become more like a tranny each day and that one day you look at your reflection and realizes that your ugly face has looked much better than hers. We're not sure what to say about her ever expanding boobies. Whether guys like it or not, we don't care. We only bring up the issue so that we have a reason to post THIS!

Not that you guys care who she is, but this is Elizabeth Hurley at the Global Illumination Initiative at the London Tower. Our guess is, Liz thinks that getting invited to Global Illumination Initiative means that she has to take the "initiative" to bring "globes" to "illuminate" some people in the world, especially guys, if you know what we mean. Of course you don't. We're even sure you are not reading this since your eyes are all glued to either one of the two pics we post above.

Mischa Barton Attends Stuff. Again.

2008-10-18T11:51:00.000-07:00

Mischa Barton arrives at the launch party for Google’s new T-Mobile G1 cell phone held at Siren Studios on Friday in Hollywood.

The T-Mobile G1 with Google is the first commercially available phone to run on the ‘Android’ operating system, which empowers developers with tools to create and offer consumers applications that add value to their lives.

MOCKING TIME!

Notice that Mischa has always worn leggings or pantyhose ever since magazines all over the world posted pics showing cellulite on her thighs? So leggings have become some sort of cover-up, eh? So that's why Lindsay Ho-han often wears them nowadays? Nope, she's just plain crazy.

Mommy, Mommy, I Want Jolie

2008-10-16T10:08:00.001-07:00

That face is... unreal.
Angelina Jolie appears on the Today show where she was interviewed by Matt Lauer at NBC Studios in New York City on Thursday.

We used to try hard not to roll our eyes everytime we heard about her adding up a little tuyul to her family (by getting pregnant, that is), but then we saw her face on TV and we totally forgave her. Again and again. We hate ourselves.

And she's the only one who can look and sound sexy when saying "mommy and daddy". This is very disturbing. Is this what the doctors call "mother complex"? If we suffer from it, will Angie feel sorry and adopt us too? *puppy eyes*

Pretty.

Preggers?? That THING??

2008-10-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

Victoria Beckham wears a tight mod dress as she arrives at LAX to catch a flight to London on Sunday.

The 34-year-old former Spice Girl recently told the U.K. edition of Glamour that, “I’m not pregnant, and I’m not trying to get pregnant at the moment”
“I’m so lucky to have the boys (Brooklyn, 9; Romeo, 6; and Cruz, 3) and they’re such great kids. Nice, free spirits and incredibly polite, which I think is very important.”

“It takes a lot of energy, and the thought of having another baby now would be a little bit much. Maybe in a year or two but right now, I’m having amazing career opportunities and I want to enjoy the boys,” Victoria said.

What Victoria really tries to tell you is that the thought of gaining weight to have a baby scares the bejeezus out of her, and she would like to think that the already existing kids of hers already have everything she could possibly hope for, despite the obvious fact that some of them inherit their mommy's piggy nose. And who the FCUK (excuse our French) spreads rumors that she's pregnant?? Do you wanna kill her by making her think that her body looks FAT nowadays? You wanna see her go back to the eat-and-drink-nothing diet? If she loses another pound she'll be flown back to her homeplanet in a breeze.

We Would Change Our Minds, Too!

2008-10-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

Angelina Jolie reveals in the new issue of W Magazine that she had only planned on adopting children but after falling in love with Brad Pitt, he changed her mind.

Here are some quotes from the mag via People:

On Brad changing her mind about giving birth to her own children: “I think one of the life changing things that he did, one of many, is that I was absolutely never going to get pregnant. I never felt that it was the right thing to do… I suppose I just looked at him and loved him and just felt open to (getting pregnant). I suddenly wanted to. It’s one of those things you can’t explain.”

On Brad seeing adopted children Maddox and Zahara: “I knew that he would never see them as different, and that gave me a certain peace.”

On having three children with Brad: “I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. It taught me a lot about life, just the process of it, and now we have three other beautiful children that wouldn’t otherwise be here.”

On baring her body for the intimate W pics taken by Brad just weeks after the twins’ birth: “I’m with a man who’s evolved enough to look at my body and see it as more beautiful, because of the journey it has taken and what it has created. He genuinely sees it that way. So I genuinely feel even sexier.”

On Brad being perfect for her: “[I have] a lot of respect [for Brad. He helps me] to be better and fight hard for the things that I love. I do think that I’m in a good partnership now. I think it just needed to be the right man.”

Things would be really different if we, the always fabulous BitchTalkers were Brad Pitt's wives.

On Brad changing her mind about giving birth to her own children: "I used to hate tuyuls... I mean kids. But the thoughts that the children would inherit HIS genes were so promising that I had decided to produce babies once a year."

On Brad seeing adopted children Maddox and Zahara: "Well you can see that they DON'T share his genes, so I once tried to return the kids to the orphanages, but Brad convinced me to keep 'em. Said it was good for publicity and stuff. Anything to keep my babydaddy happy."

On having three children with Brad: "Not enough. Once a year, I said."

On baring her body for the intimate W pics taken by Brad just weeks after the twins’ birth: "Ga usah for the W pics. I'd bare my body anytime, anywhere, just so he can see that I'm always ready to do it with him. But I bared mine outside our home one day, and he got furious. Something about "being embarassed", I dunno.

On Brad being perfect for her: "Duh."

Whitney and "the City"

2008-10-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

She’s making herself at home in her New York City surroundings, and yesterday Whitney Port was spotted out in Central Park with a gal pal.

Miss Port was reportedly filming scenes for her new reality show “The City”, set to air in early 2009, that documents her life in the Big Apple as she works for Diane Von Furstenberg’s fashion label.
Let's just hope that the fact that she's now working for some fancy fashion label and away from all the drama surrounding Lauren, Audrina and Heidi that Whitney will have much less boring conversations. Otherwise they would more or less sound like this.

Whitney (always the one who has no interesting activity to talk about): "So what did you do last night?"
Some chick: "I went to this new club..."
Whitney: "Really??"
Some chick: "... Err, yea. Really. This new club, with my friends. And..."
Whitney: "That sounds cool!"
Some chick: "What sounds cool?"
Whitney: "You know, hanging out with your friends and stuff..."
Some chick: "Oookay... Anywho, I wore my new dress, all of us danced, and had some drinks,.."
Whitney: *Gasped* "Oh my God! How did you feel?"
Some chick: "...... Fine ....... Where was I? Oh. So after a while I became sleepy and I thought I better go home."
Whitney: "I totally agree."

Heather Locklear's Mugshot Revealed

2008-09-29T03:31:00.000-07:00

Here is Heather Locklear's mug shot!

The 47-year-old actress was arrested Saturday night in Santa Barbara for “driving erratically” upon leaving a parking lot.

According to The Associated Press, Heather was booked on suspicion of driving under the influence of prescription medication. She was later released without having to post bail.

Please note that BitchTalkers are not quite sure about the accuracy. Some say that this picture was taken on Heather's wedding day back in 1994, when she realized that she was about to marry Richie Sambora.

Oh, NOW She's a Diva.

2008-09-29T03:19:00.000-07:00

Selena Gomez is unusually camera shy as she goes through airport security and then departs from LAX with her mother and stepfather on Saturday night.

The 16-year-old Wizards of Waverly Place listened to her iPod while she rushed through the airport and tried to avoid photographers as much as possible.

Yeees, she must be pretty shy (and embarassed, exactly) after hearing news of her lame movie Another Cinderella Story going straight to DVDs. Have you seen it? It's so effing lame we spent every second wishing the two main characters would die. No, we wish ALL of the characters would die! How sad, isn't it, that we're no longer fans of the only Hollywood chick we used to adore. But then again, we're not BitchTalkers if not bitchtalking!

Our Nightmare Has Come True

2008-09-29T03:11:00.000-07:00

Our beloved bitchtalking fans, that's miss cempreng Rachel Bilson promoting the launch of her new collection ‘Edie Rose’ at the Macy’s in Aventura Mall on Sunday in Aventura, Florida.

“I want people to see these clothes for what they are, not just another line designed by another celebrity,” The 26-year-old Jumper star said. “I want the line to be taken seriously.”

Well dearest, just because you don't want your clothes to be just another line designed by another celebrity, doesn't mean yours have too look like a tribute to Charlie Chaplin.

Love Story of a Skank and a Hasbeen

2008-09-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

Got this *cough* "important" news from perezhilton.com.
Donnie Wahlberg may not yet be a New ~~Kid~~ Divorcé On The Block - as he awaits the completion of his August divorce from wife of nine years Kim Fhey - but that hasn't stopped him from getting cozy with skankalicious girl band member Aubrey O'Day of manufactured Danity Kane fame.
In a steamy interview with Complex magazine, Aubrey discusses her penchant for porn, her pal Jenna Jameson, kinky sex, the type of men she digs, and denies getting close to Making the Band teacher and ring leader P. Diddy.

Aubrey told the mag, "I like dating guys who don’t take themselves too seriously,” she said. “Who can make me laugh. Who are very smart. There are so many gorgeous men that come into my life, but they’re just very stupid and I can’t do it.”

We have something in common here. We sure love guys who don't take themselves seriously. At least we love SEEING them not taking themselves seriously, u know, like joining this ancient boyband who still call themselves New KIDS on the Block, singing about meeting some crazy stupid chicks in summertime and asking for their phone numbers and stuff. Surely they make US laugh, so hard that we often fart several times and make some people around us faint for several minutes.

Gossip Girl Season 2: Yuck and Even More Yucks

2008-09-15T09:44:00.000-07:00

So sad to see season 2 of Gossip Girl is becoming more like a soap opera. Just when we were finished going to the bathroom to puke after seeing Nate Archibald doing it with a 100 year-old chick, we had to see a picture of him making out with little (bitch) Jenny Humphrey!

Wanna know something interesting? We found this footage of Gossip Girl doing an interview at Paley Fest some time ago. If you just stop drooling over Ed Westwick and his sexy British accent in this vid, you will notice that the interviewer asks Chace about "Jenny and Nate". Chace responds with "Age difference, man, I dunno."

Gossip Girl at Paley

In the blink of an eye, Nathaniel suddenly has sex with a much older woman, AND now we know that he'll be doing something nasty with a much younger girl. DOUBLE YUCK! It's like having to hear Britney's song, and realizing that Heidi Montag is in it too, doing a duet. What...? IT'S ALREADY HAPPENED? *Jumping off a cliff*

More about the interview here. Click on it, it's really interesting. Our libido rises back after seeing pics of Chace and Ed. Together. Ahhh...

So Proud of You, Gisele

2008-09-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

Gisele Bundchen has one leg up on her jeans as she shops at Boutique Ludivine in New York City’s West Village on Friday.

Watch and learn, girls. Gisele's the only chick who can pull off this weird look, so if you want to have fun with your jeans, learn from HER! Never, EVER, try to copy Katie Holmes's way of rolling up her hubby's jeans. It would only add more proof that your man is four feet tall.

Baby Check-Up

2008-09-14T07:32:00.000-07:00

Ashlee Simpson was spotted out and about in Century City, California paying a visit to her doctor at the Century City Medical Plaza.

Following her successful check-up, Simpson headed over to see her husband Pete Wentz, aka “Vlad the Baker,” as he passed out promo t-shirts as well as cupcakes and doughnuts.

Speaking of the baby, Wentz recently denied rumors of twins, and also revealed that they’re expecting a boy. “We know with 90 per cent accuracy that it’s a boy, and our due date is around Thanksgiving.”

BitchTalkers are way ahead of them. We know with 1000 per cent accuracy that whether the baby is a boy or a girl, the creature will inherit the mother's chin and the father's hairstyle and love for dark eye make-ups, and will look like this.

Rumer Willis

Gossip Girl Updates

2008-09-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

Gossip Girl star Blake Lively celebrated her 21st birthday with a flapper-themed party at the New York Palace Hotel in NYC on Sept. 6.

“I love to plan parties,” Blake tells Life & Style. “That would be my career if I weren’t an actress.”

Blake’s high school friends and family were among the crowd, along with Gossip Girl co-stars Chace Crawford, Leighton Meester, Jessica Szohr, Ed Westwick, Connor Paolo and Michelle Trachtenberg. And of course, her boyfriend (and co-star) Penn Badgley was there too. James Franco was also on hand, and crooner Michael Bublé even sang “Happy Birthday” to Blake.

There's always a first time for everything, and this is our first time NOT being able to mock anything. Heck, we're even green with envy. The party, the cake, and the cast are gorrrgeous!

But we're not BitchTalkers if not bitchtalking!

Here's what we found in the upcoming episode of Gossip Girl.

Hate to break it to you, but your eyes aren't fooling ya.

That's Chace Crawford aka Nate Archibald shooting a kissing scene with miss cungkring Taylor Momsen aka Jenny Humphrey!

*sigh* The storyline begins to sound more and more like porn.

Yikes!

2008-09-13T06:45:00.000-07:00

Bitchtalking people whom we love, please excuse us for being in complete denial. Let's take some moment to look at this picture and tell us what you think.

Crazy people out there post this pic and try to fool us by saying that the guy in the pic is Channing Tatum. Nuh-uh! We know our Channing and we're totally sure that the mas-mas is NOT him. They're idiots! Can't they see it's Alec Baldwin?! How much did he pay these morons to pretend to have confused him with the hunky young actor?

Moreover, this guy is also NOT Channing!

Blech. We don't know who this is, but we're guessing it might be some trucker named Bubba vacationing somewhere nice with some chick. Perhaps a little peek at her will make us less clueless.

This might be Michelle Rodriguez. Okay, it COULD be Jenna Dewan, for we don't have to deny the fact that they're both ugly. So either Alec Baldwin hooks up with Michelle Rodriguez, or Jenna Dewan is two-timing Channing with Alec Baldwin, or Michelle Rodriguez hooks up with Bubba, or... We're officially lost.

Our Very First Sinetron Review: MUSLIMAH

2008-09-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

Do you know what Keanu Reeves and Okan Cornelius have in common?
They both look better with their mouths shut.

Our dearly beloved BitchTalking people, what better way to break our fast than to pig out and watch some hilarious comedy on TV? That's when Muslimah comes in handy. We accidentally found this brilliant sinetron playing on Indosiar everyday at 6 PM and we've been hardcore fans ever since. We give you three main reasons why you should watch it.

Where else can we see superslut-with-kampungan-face Titi Kamal donning Hijab?
For those of you who didn't see Okan Cornelius act on Hantu Aborsi, this is a perfect chance to catch up. See how Okan defines "angry".
If you don't follow this sinetron from the first episode, do NOT worry, you don't miss a single thing. Heck, you'll NEVER miss anything. Since when do we watch a sinetron randomly and do NOT understand what it's about?

If you're not even convinced yet (oh, COME on!), watch it yourself. Episode 3 is our favourite by far. Best moment starts from 4.09. WATCH IT HERE!

Err...

2008-09-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Jessica Alba is quite literally silenced–with gags and masks stifling her voice as a citizen– in this new campaign entitled “Only You Can Silence yourself.” This is all part of Declare Yourself, the national nonpartisan, nonprofit youth voter initiative aimed at energizing young adults to register and vote in the 2008 election.

Alba said, “If you don’t register and vote and make a difference, and hopefully change the bad things that are happening in our country, you are essentially just binding and muzzling yourself.”

What's with the pose? Geez, Alba, it's not like it's going to be on the cover of Vanity Fair or sumthn'.

Gimme Gimme More of Brit-Brit

2008-09-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

(Taken from perezhilton.com)

PerezHilton.com just spoke to Britney Spears' manager, Larry Rudolph, and he tells us exclusively that the former and (hopeful) once-again Princess of Pop is NOT performing at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday.

She is 100% not performing, Larry assured us, but she will be attending and opening the show.

Rudolph has repeatedly stated recently that Spears was NOT performing, a statement echoed closely by the reps at MTV.

So, what to make of that footage that leaked on Friday that showed Britney rehearsing to a new song of her with some dancers???

"She was not rehearsing for the VMAs," Rudolph tells us. "It was just her going into the studio with some dancer friends and having fun. It's a regular occurrence now. I see that every day."

Uh-uh, Rudolph better NOT mess with us. What BitchTalkers want, BitchTalkers get. And we demand Britney to perform! That footage must've been leaked by her people as a publicity stunt. We BitchTalkers even have more proof! Bitchy people whom we love, please enjoy our latest pic of Britney rehearsing with her dancer friend.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

2008-09-04T19:59:00.000-07:00

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt put on their boxing robes and battled each other at the launch party for EA Sports new Facebreaker fighthing video game.

Finally! Did they die? Did they die?

She Finally Looks Good

2008-09-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

Leighton Meester works out fierce Fendi dress and shoes the Season 5 premiere of Entourage at the Ziegfeld Theater in New York City on Wednesday. The 22-year-old Gossip Girl cutie finished off her look with Van Cleef jewels.

Hmm... Nice choice of dress. Nice choice of jewelleries.

Great make up and hair, too.

But suddenly,

WOBBLY LEGS!

MORE WOBBLY LEGS!

God, oh God please stop torturing us with wobbly legs!

Truth Hurts

2008-09-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

Jessica Alba is recently on the cover of Czech Esquire magazine.

There must be a reason why she chooses the Czech version. Prolly cuz Czech peeps are dumb enough to think that chicks who give birth would still look hawt! People, people, please don't deny the fact that these women will soon have flabby abs, droopy boobs, and lose their fashion sense. And if you guys out there don't like it, feel free to go out and find some pole on the street to have sex with. Stupid men, always in denial. For those of you who are brave enough to face the torturous truth, here's what Mrs. Warren actually looks like these days!

Without a care in the world, plus with the chance that she might have lost her energy to dress up after taking care of her bundle of joy, there she is at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado, on September 3rd. With such clothes (and konde), she could pass for a kindergarten teacher.

NEW ATTRACTION !

2008-09-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

Tired of watching stupid animal shows for the gazillionth time? Sick of seeing animals do the same old tricks all over again?

No Worries!

Gelanggang Samudera now has upgraded its show for your viewing pleasure! Bring your family, relatives, all your loved ones to your most favourite animal-themed park in the world!

No more boring stuff! No hippos doing lazy things!

Gelanggang Samudra has hired professionals to train their animals.
So be prepared to see hippos doing:

POLE DANCE!!!

Brooke Hogan

Miss Meester Was Born in Jail

2008-09-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

Gossip Girl sweetheart Leighton Meester was born in jail, Star magazine claims.

Her mother was reportedly serving a federal prison sentence in Texas when she gave birth to Leighton, now 22, was reportedly born while . Mama Meester was allowed to stay in a halfway house for the birth, but had to return to the slammer on the day Leighton turned three months. Leighton was raised by a close relative after her mom was busted for participating in a drug ring.

Also, according to the mag, Leighton’s father, grandfather and aunt all did hard time in federal prisons for drug dealing.

Leighton should have been caught and brought to jail a long time ago, by fashion police, for:

1. going blonde and thinking she looks hawt

2. standing like Hunchback of Notre Dame

3. Looking up to Alanis Morissette for hairstyle and fashion sense

4. thinking she looks good without make-up

5. thinking she can style her own hair with no help from Gossip Girl's stylist

6. going to parties disguised as Rinko Kikuchi

Not a Very Attractive Performer, Mayer

2008-09-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

John Mayer performs in concert at the Cruzan Amphitheatre in West Palm Beach, Florida on Sunday.

The 30-year-old singer seems to have gotten over ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston pretty quickly as he reportedly got pretty friendly with a blonde cocktail waitress during one of his concerts according to People.

“We’re all drunk,” said Mayer about himself and his entourage. “Only onstage can you openly drink on your last night. I’d like to see George Bush light up a giant joint.”

Bla, bla, bla. We don't really care about the news.

MOCKING TIME!

He's either impersonating himself when drinking beer straight from the bottle or he's possessed by Tweety Bird.

Lacur on Watch

2008-09-02T00:59:00.000-07:00

Here is some leaked picture of Gossip Girl star Taylor "Jenny Humprey" Momsen celebrating her 15th birthday.

They say a picture worth a thousand word, how 'bout a thousand pictures!!

normally we would comment and express our thought about this thing, but right now it will be best for us to just sit pretty, shut the hell up, and let you guys be the judges!!

Just some random observation …

Lil Ty smooching up with some dude...

It’s that you Nick Jonas?? (gosh what would Selena and Miley think??)

after that she's letting some fat chick/dude squeeze her

but then she makes up for her mistakes and kissed a girl (point for that)

At least if you’re gonna do it the lacur way, do it with a little class.

Pearls, laces and bustier for starting, very burlesque-ish just the way we’re the Bitchtalker like it.

Unlike some ugly people (yes you know what we’re talking about) Miley the yucky Cyrus

Just so you know Taylor, we're the Bitchtalker are so frikiin proud of you.
Lost for words, tears streaming down on our faces!!
Way to go digging up your inner lacur slu...ehem Taylor!!

Now little jenny can smugly say to chuck’s face that she's been there and done that!!

Getting Uglier, Aren't We

2008-09-02T00:35:00.001-07:00

Hannah Montana loser Miley Cyrus grabs a juice drink at Robek’s on the way to a music studio in Burbank, Calif. on Monday.

Isn't cute how she makes the V-sign her signature pose? She keeps reminding us how she rates her own fashion sense on scale 1 to 10.

Claire Danes is that you??

2008-09-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

She played as Juliet on Romeo and Juliet opposites Leonardo DiCaprio.
Her latest movie is Stardust, where she played as the falling star.
and she's dating Hugh Dancy!!

huh..is that supposed to be Claire Danes??

Our loyal Bitchtalker reader;
Can you please...please...please...tell us who this person really is?
She's trying to impersonated Clare Danes for god's sake but come ooon, Claire Danes it's like 50 year younger then this person is.
We all know better!!!

Our guess is she's around 70-ish,..dunno one of the Golden Girls with hair extention...??
Whaddaya mean NO...

Best Regards

*Bitchtalker*

Celebrity keep creating fashion line!

2008-09-01T20:22:00.000-07:00

Here's Sheryl Crow looks as goddess as ever while promoting her new denim line "Boothel Trading Company"

Hmm..where do i start??
the fascinating blue vest with pocket detailed, the orange very "hippie" shirt plus the wonderful necklace, the gorgeous belt, and the most important of all is the very chic jeans, oww let's not forget to mention the very western-like shoes. Don't you just love it...!!

Here's another smash-hit of Celeb fashion line for your viewing pleasure...
Tara frikiin Reid and her new swimwear line "Mantra"

Gorgeous isn't??

Let us remind you people (read-celebrity), just because you're famous doesn't mean that people are going to buy your shiiit!!
the truth is hurt my friend!!
we... at least generous enough to say it to your face :P
Welcome to the real world sucker!!

you're pushing it girlfriend!!

2008-08-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

the trashy star of the Hills, Heidi Montag and her equally douche boyfriend sometimes fiancee (...God knows what their relationship actually is), were spotted again, yet for another 'dadakan' paparazzi snapshot, and posing like these...

Nicely done Heidi, just another classy way to upgrade your popularity...

Tim Gunn Hates Everything. Like WE do!

2008-08-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

(Taken from perezhilton.com)

Earlier this week, he was attacking Miley Cyrus, branding her a "tart."

Now, Tim Gunn is lashing out at Jennifer Aniston, calling her desperate and high maintenance.

Hey, the truth hurts!

The Project Runway star tells OK! magazine of Aniston, "Sometimes I think she has 'desperate character' written on her. The clothes we wear send a message. And I think that's the message — I don't think that's her intention though."

Ouch!

To rub some salt in Jen's wounds, Tim adds, "I can't help but think that's she's pretty high-maintenance."

We have found our soulmate and won't let him go.

Sienna With the One Who Produced the Slut

2008-08-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

Sienna Miller takes her dogs out for a walk with her mother Jo in London on Thursday afternoon.

The 26-year-old British actress and her Brothers & Sisters beau Balthazar Getty reportedly have been house-hunting together. The couple viewed a $20 million, four-bedroom, six-bathroom mansion in LA’s ultra-exclusive Trancas Canyon in Malibu.

A source told the Sunday Mirror: “They came in together, and were very touchy-feely. There was a lot of hand-holding.There is a saltwater infinity pool and an open-air shower. Sienna loved that.”

Moms all over the world tend to protect their daughters and stand by them no matter what. We imagine how Sluttienna's would be. Why haven't we heard about any interview with the ma? This would be the perfect time, y'all!

(On why Sienna looks for a new house)
Mama Jo: Oh, it's nothing, really. It's just that Sienna's old one is a bit too small, you know. It's time to move to a bigger one. Any guesses from anybody about why she wants to move out are out of the question.

(On Sienna's lovelife)
Mama Jo: Oh, she's such a pure child. What she's always been looking for is her knight in shining armor. She believes that her prince is waiting for her out there. Even if her definition of prince is sometimes differ from mine, but in the end, I always love her choice of such gentlemen. There's Jude.. oh wait, he was married, yes. Oh, there's Rhys Ifans.. umm.. well he's not exactly my idea of a gorgeous man.. But wait, now there's Balthazar... oh, he's also married. (mumbles to herself, "There's GOTTA be someone...")

(On Sienna's social life)
Mama Jo: She has good friends supporting her. They're gracious, too, you know. Sophisticated. And that's what makes her what she is right now. Gracious and sophisticated.

(On Sienna's favourite pastime)
Mama Jo: My daughter loooves going to beaches. I think it's very natural for her to be near the oceans, she's a free soul. When she goes to beaches, she lets go of everything, she feels free. And by "everything", I do mean, "Eeevery-thing".

(On her career life)
Mama Jo: She started out as a model, and at that time I always knew that she would be such a successful woman one day. She was very talented.

Mama Jo: Now she's one of top Hollywood legend out there, as an actress. I love all of her movies! I see my girl grow into such a talented actress day by day. Her characters are always magnificent, so strong! In her every movie, she always has to do something different. You see her in her latest one, Hippie Hippie Shake? She does all of the stunts required. Like, she had to get into such cold water, who wouldve done that? My baby girl. So proud of her.

in Alfie

in Factory Girl

in Hippie Hippie Shake

Very Cinta Laura

2008-08-27T18:46:00.000-07:00

Check out the new Selena Gomez music video, “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know”, from her direct-to-dvd movie, Another Cinderella Story. The romantic comedy has a target release date of September 16, 2008.
-here-
So much for being obsessed fans. Turns out we like Cinta Laura's "Oh, Baby" waaay better. And if we hum Selena's song, it wouldn't sound as fun, we mean... singing "Tell me tell me tell me something I don't know" for millions of times is like repeating some kind of an annoying mantra.
Here's some details on the making of Selena's video.

1. Costume : Borrowed from Miley Cyrus
2. Location : Video Director's house. The tot sleeps at his crib occasionally. Veeerry Michael
Jackson.
3. Choreographer : Cinta Laura's. (Cinta's choreographer: Ivan Gunawan. Or is he the costume designer? God knows. Sorry we got things mixed up.)
4. Budget : 5 USD (to buy the Mini DV cassette)

Some People Aren't Meant to Open Their Mouths

2008-08-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

Former boybander Lance Bass, 29, hosted an Olympic-themed bash/viewing party at the Haute House in Los Angeles earlier this month.

Guests included The Hills star Heidi Montag, 21, and The Sopranos actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler, 27. The pair competed in popular drinking games like Beer Pong as they rooted on Team USA.

There's the picture of Jamie-Lynn at the party. Never mind Heidi, she already makes herself look like one big joke so it's no longer fun to mock her. We always thought that Jamie could be considered as one of the sweet-looking actresses out there. But after seeing her pic below, we feel the need to warn all of you guys out there that when you dig some random chick's smile, you might also want to check how they sneer as well.

Grandma-Lynn alert! Or is this how it would like if Cher and Mel C had a baby together?

Poor Boogie Board

2008-08-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

Keely Shaye Smith, the wife of 007 star Pierce Brosnan, takes her boogie board for a ride on the waves in Kauai, Hawaii on Sunday afternoon.

“I never shy away from colors or my curves,” Keeley has told Vogue. “I never hide in baggy clothing.’

Pierce, the 55-year-old former Bond actor whose latest role is in Mamma Mia!, was seen playing the ukulele on the beach. His and Keely’s sons, Dylan Thomas, 11, and Paris Beckett, 7, stayed in the shade as their mama went for a swim.

False alarm, Greenpeace, no beached whale here.

Hear No Tom

2008-08-26T08:21:00.001-07:00

Tom Cruise takes 2-year-old daughter Suri for a helicopter ride in New York City on Monday morning.

Baby Suri, who dressed in a pretty green dress, covered up her ears to protect herself from the loud noises of the rotors. Tom carried around two new dolls for Suri to play with.

Ah, another useful Scientology bullshit Tom believes in."You have the voice of a god, Mister Cruise, no one is annoyed, instead they have to be thankful to be able to hear your laughs." Little does he know Suri is beginning to lose both her ears. What else does Scientology teach him? "Go jump on couches, Mr. Cruise. Anything that gets you closer to God. Or makes you look taller."

Horror!

2008-08-26T00:20:00.000-07:00

Oh my frikkin Gawd Madonna...
for the love of God and all things holy, would you please, please, please put on some pants!!!

What are you trying to prove, we get it, you're doing yoga, pilates and stuff.
You can bend your head to your feet, you can break a thick steel with your crotch.
We GET it.
but grandm...i mean dude you're pushing 70 for god's sake!!

Fashion Files

2008-08-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

Leona Lewis sings at the closing ceremony of the Olympic games, looking like this.

that thing that she calls dress looks like something that Beyonce would wear.
and mama Tina would gladly add "it" to another collection of tacky clothes in their fashion line “House of Dereon”

looks like miss Lewis has been taking fashion tips from Beyonce.
and we're telling you, my friend, that sadly those tips aren't the good ones!

Seriously, who the hell does she think she is, Selena Gomez?? Naah!!!

2008-08-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently Miley "the chipmunk teeth" Cyrus is determined to drive us crazieeh by continuing to pose and take pictures at any given time and place.

here she is posing with pride in a very najis looking tee.
gyaaah...you can tell how "kampungan" she is by the shirt she chooses to try on.

Super heroes. reaallyh??
We bet that it's why all the Super Heroes decided to keep their identities as secretly as possible.
oh Miley honey the only superhero you're gonna kiss are the one in your frikkin dream!! Even if there is a superhero that may let himself be kissed by you, it is Hellboy.

P.S Stop terrorizing us!!
you're so fuckin ugleehh.

Birthday Babe

2008-08-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Our least favorite star from Gossip Girl, Blake Lively celebrates her birthday today.

we're from the Bitchtalker team (that's us -R and G-)
wish her a very Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Blake!!
Love always

that been said.
what is it now, your 36th or 37th birthday??
woow...you are one hot grandma, wrinkly Blakey!!

we had enough!!

2008-08-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

Remember this girl, Katie Holmes a.k.a Joey the cute innocent girl from Dawson's Creek?

NO. well...we don't either.

ever since she married Tom Cruise

and started to hang out with Victoria Beckham

and transformed into Red carpet goddess

we're totally so over Joey!!

but obviously every fairytale has an ending.
apparently VB got sick of Katie's impulsive copycatness and ditched her.

on her own again, Katie looks like a lost little puppy with no one to hang on to...
suddenly it hits her like a lightning from the sky.
what more best to become a role model then the great Tom Cruise himself, her own frikkin husband.

so from that moment on, Katie decided to dress more like Tom.

1. it's started lightly and very subtle...almost unnoticeable

2. she became more bold and wore the same exact pair of jeans as Tom's in public

3. and finaly she said "screw this, i look good, let's get matchy-matchy from head to toe, babe."

one thing Katie forgot to consider is, Tom Cruise is a DUDE!! Or at least a li'l dude.

Does Overdosin' Make Your Hair Blow Up?

2008-08-24T18:56:00.000-07:00

Another update on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, aka Ken and Barbie (the yucky version). We love our fans so much that we decide to share everything, including this picture of Heidi shooting a video for her latest song, "Overdosin'". Best friends share everything, right? So if we accidentally burned our eyes by seeing these pics, u have to do the same.

Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats!

Roll, Roll, Roll Your Eyes

2008-08-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

Blake Lively sports her plaid necktie on the set of the hit drama Gossip Girl in New York City on Friday.

The 20-year-old actress has been trying to put to rest a possible feud with Traveling Pants co-star America Ferrera. Apparently America rolled her eyes during an interview when Blake began talking about the upcoming season of her CW drama, Gossip Girl.

(For those of you who haven't seen the video, please deh, BitchTalk fans sejati ga sih? Hehe, gih, watch it here)

Blake responded, “I haven’t even heard about it. I don’t ever pay attention to that stuff. She’s one of my best friends in the whole wide world and honestly, when you’re sitting in a room for three hours doing satellite interviews… We were staring at a Post-It (note) with a smiley face, so I think I probably rolled my eyes a hundred times. I’m like, ‘Oh gosh, this thing is still going on?”

You notice how easy it's been for artists to claim that they're best friends with people they don't get along with? As much as we luuurve Gossip Girl, it really bothers us that these cast never seem to be able to handle interviews professionally. Blake was there to be interviewed about Sisterhood..., so why did she answer that unrelated question? And that statement of hers about America is so damn lame, we bet if America reads it, she'll be rolling her eyes at each of Blake's sentence that she'll soon become crossed-eye.

Some Black Eye He's Gonna Get

2008-08-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

(Taken from TMZ.com)
apl.de.ap from the Black Eyed Peas needs to take a cue from his songs and learn when to "Shut Up" -- especially when he's throwing the G-bomb around.
When asked about Ricky Martin's in vitro twins and the Claby, the Pea's eloquent response was "that's gay" -- but literally seconds after he dropped the statement, the furious backtracking began! His assistant wanted us to "edit that part out." (Watch the vid here)

(In related news, Ricky Martin is now the father of twin boys, his publicist announced on Wednesday.

The children were had via a surrogate mother, and the boys were born a few weeks ago, according to his reps.

Clay Aiken also artificially inseminated his much older best friend and welcomed the baby on August 8.)

To be in a more serious note, we BitchTalkers do agree that this guy should really shut the hell up. Harre genneee masih homophobic? Let's take a look at his picture above and we're absolutely sure that y'all would rather sleep with a hundred gay guys than with a straight man who takes fashion cues from a homeless version of Michael Jackson. Besides, gays are hot. Ricky Martin is. Also..

Clay.. Aik..

We'd like to take our words back.

Wishful Thinking

2008-08-21T06:15:00.000-07:00

This is serious.

We still can’t get over the fact that the casting director of the twilight movie, cast those-thingies-from-god-knows-where.

Anyway, we joke around and come up with a solution for our very own ideal twilight cast.

And the answer is NO if you’re asking if that cast includes Gaspard Ulliel. No, he will no longer be mentioned here.

Anyways we're sure you guys are all aware about our adoration regarding Gossip Girl,…man how we bow before Blair Waldorf (note-we did say Blair and not Leighton, just so we're clear.)

Back to the important matter, sooooooo..we come up with a simple solution that not only sums-up all the madness but also benefits us all at once.

Twilight the movie can use all the Gossip Girl cast, like that saying in bahasa “sekali mendayung 2 pulau terlampaui” ... well...something like that... we're not really sure.

Here is a few reason we could think of:

Ed Westwick as Edward Cullen. Well just look at him, naturally pale skinned, unlike someone *cough* (Robbert Pattinson), smug but gorgeous face, heck they even have matching first name, what more could you ask for.

2.

Bella --> Queen Blair's certainly not fit to play small-average-looking-village girl with boring outfits, but Leighton Meester is. Just look at her boring no make up face post-Gossip Girl-shoot -duh- *rolls eyes*

3.

Jessica Szohr can play Alice Cullen, she may not be pixie-like but we're sure she can pull it off somehow. Come on fellas, a little imagination please.

4.

while Beautiful Chace Crawford can play as Jasper Cullen. Very easy on the eyes don't cha think?? *Pays no attention to the cowboy hat*

5.

Blake Lively can play Rosalie Cullen. Golden hair, nearly perfect figure, makes every girl jealous. Serena and Rosalie description are almost identical, both in Gossip Girl book and in Twilight book, except maybe that Rosalie is a vampire.

6.

Rufus Humprey (Matthew Settle) and Lily Van der Woodsen (Kelly Rutherford) can play as Mr and Mrs Cullen. In the Twilight book Stephanie Mayer did describe them as gorgeous and they both are.

7.

Taylor Momsen can play Bell's annoying classmate Jessica.

8. hmmm who else is there?? we'll figure it out eventually.
Oh yeah, almost forgot.

Penn Badgley can join the cast too, as their pet.

No, seriously, he DOES look like his and girlfriend Blake Lively's pet dog, right? They don't name their dog Penny for no reason!

So we wonder why anybody else wouldn't think about this brilliant idea earlier.

*not pointing a finger* yes we’re talking to YOU, casting director.

Well I guess that’s it for now peeps.

Don’t hate, if you do then what is left there for us to do!!

P.S : Can’t wait for Gossip Girl Season Two!

September 1 ^_^

A Very Interesting Beer Ad

2008-08-21T03:43:00.000-07:00

Country Girl Jessica Simpson sits atop bales of hay in her new beer ad.

The ads reads, as if Jessica is saying it, “I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made the smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it’s beer plus.”

i mean really? what the hell are they thinking, Jessica Simpson and Smart, come on?? be serious!!
Not the smartest combination i supposed.

Right after seeing such a "smart" combination of Jessica Simpson and the slogan, we feel this urge to stampede towards nearest warung to buy Teh Botol instead.

When Miss Piggy Gets Interviewed

2008-08-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

"I love my smile. My smile and my cleavage. I think they go really well together."

- Serena Williams tells the new issue of Men's Fitness, on the favorite part of her body.

Well.. this picture does explain why she only refers to her upper body parts.

Everybody is Talking

2008-08-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

FYI : there have been a lot of rumor going on lately about the Gayness (is that even a word?) Gossip Guy hotties Chase Crawford and Ed Westwick.
For some people (girls obviously) this rumor is heart-breaking but for us..... yum...yum
This means 3 decker (if you're old enough to know what it means)
Move over Lindsay, here is the ultimate gay couple and we would like to see some more.

Are they or aren't they?

apparently they keep teasing us with their "rather provocative" poses

with pictures like this that keep popping up, who are we to resist.
bring it on dudes!*Roar*

Why Isn't He Holding the "Will Work for Food" Sign?

2008-08-18T07:22:00.000-07:00

Twilight the movie

Official Release date: November 21, 2008

so here's a little teaser for your viewing pleasure.

Everybody says Hi to your super fine leading man : Edward Cullen

isn't he dreamy?
No!?
well...you decided.

Just Dropped By to remind ya…

2008-08-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

About...

Another fantastic Banjir year in J.Town

Demo kenaikan BBM

Twice

And let’s not forget the most eventful event of the year

Adinda Bakrie 20 M wedding

That been said.

Happy Independence Day Indonesia

Can’t wait to go through it all again :P

Hate Always

*Bitchtalker*

Different Ideas of Smiling

2008-08-17T23:59:00.001-07:00

We understand you're all getting sick of us posting all about Selena and Chipmunk Teeth and we apologize, but really, Chipmunk Teeth brings out the best bitchy remarks in us.

Respecting Their Origins

2008-08-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

Eek!! Doesn't she look gorrrgeous?

Selena Gomez arrives at the 2008 ALMA Awards at the Pasadena Civic Auditorium on Friday in Pasadena, Calif.

The 15 year-old Wizard of Waverly Place star wore a Grecian-inspired one-shoulder gown by Marchesa.

In the meantime...

Miley Cyrus goes on a family biking ride with her mom Tish, younger brother Braison and li'l sis Noah in Toluca Lake, Calif., on Sunday.

Isn't it sweet? At last they succeeded in proving that they're definitely not competing against each other. Selena goes to fancy parties, Miley doesn't get an invite and goes on a boring family thingy instead. Selena wears a gown inspired by Grecian goddess, whereas Miley wears pigtails inspired by... pigs.

Suri, We Bow Before Thee

2008-08-16T06:13:00.001-07:00

Hollywood couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes hold hands with daughter Suri, 2, as they take a walk together around downtown Manhattan on Friday afternoon.

One insider tells E! that Suri is the one that wears the pants in the family: “If Suri doesn't like Katie’s shoes, she’ll take them off. Tom, too. He does whatever Suri wants. He defers to her on everything.”

It's only a matter of time before Suri doesn't like Katie's husband and "takes" him off...

Miley with Adam. We're Officially Losing It. :(

2008-08-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

Word on the street is that Miley Cyrus is going out with Step Up 2's Adam Sevani.

The two were snapped riding their bikes around Miley's LA-area home earlier in the month.

An insider tells Us Weekly, "It's the early stages of dating. She is a little boy-crazy over him."

WHAT THE EFF is our beloved boyfriend doing with a chipmunk???!!!!! Hasn't he had enough after losing the dance battle at the Teen Choice Award because of those pathetic little tuyuls who screamed louder for the Chipmunk? We'd only wish cutie Adam could free himself from the jampi-jampi she put on him and run for his life before he also slowly turns into a chipmunk. It's not that we think the news is all fake, tho. We're sure she's boy-crazy, we mean, she IS a boy, and she IS crazy.

2008-08-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

After Kevin Jonas declared his love for team Demi and Selena, the gorgeous Gomez is returning the favor. She and her on-screen older brother David henrie created a YouTube video, urging people to buy The Jonas Brothers' new album, A Little Bit Longer (What's that, how they wish their penises would be?).

In the meantime, Chipmunk Teeth gets even more depressed as she fails to steal the heart of one of the Jonas Loser.. sorry, Brothers. And so she tries and tries to get his attention by taking more and more pics.

Tumben ga megang Starbucks

2008-08-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

(This post is taken from Justjared.com.)

Here are some more tidbits from Britney Spears's exclusive interview with OK Magazine via USA Today.

Apparently Brit Brit wrote a new song about her sons, Jayden and Preston, called “My Baby”, which will be released on her new album. Here’s some quotes from the 26-year-old pop princess:

On being on the right track on life: “I’m healthy, happy and excited about the future.” (i'm fat, ugly and undersexed -Bithctalker)

On if she cooks and cleans: “I do. Usually the maid and I will cook together. [The boys] love my spaghetti… I get mad if the maid does all the housework. If she takes it all into her own hands, well, what’s for me to do? I’m a cleaning fanatic. Dusting is my favorite, and Windex-ing.” (Interpreted by BitchTalkers: "They all come in handy. I mean, whenever I get upset at the maid, I'd just strangle her with my homecooked spaghetti and clean all the evidence. See? Cleaning fanatic!")

On what she calls son Jayden: “J.J.” (Ooops mistake -Bitchtalker)

On her sons being so into cars: “[We’ve] watched the Cars movie nine million times!” (we've watched it like nine million times you see whats going on here...movie not gonna be fun without popcorn, hotdog, hamburger, pizza, coke, starbucks, so double that with nine million yuumm i'm rambling, anyway so if you people think i'm fat blame it on kiddie movie called Cars and oh yeah...those little ugly thing called sons -Bitchtalker)

On what she’s listening to these days: “I really like Rihanna. I think she’s great. And the girl Duffy. I think she’s amazing. And I like the new Madonna CD. I like Leona Lewis, too.” (those bitches have to die it's my turn to shine...ME ME ME, it's Britney bitch! -Bitchtalker)

Whatevs. Here's what piggy Brit did while taking a break at the photoshoot.

"Heh you little kacung, be useful and go get me more of these tasty cigarettes."

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

2008-08-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

Godknowswhich of the Jonas Brothers

Ventriloquist's Dummy

Hey, We Didn't Know They Went to Indonesia!

2008-08-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

The cast of Twilight doing promotional Twilight photo shoot in Ciater.
Mata air panas + Belerang = HoT combination (Like, literally hot)
see what's next on the schedule.

Kebun Raya Bogor

Ragunan

Taman Safari... Check!!!

Busy, busy!!

2008-08-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

Here's Miley Cyrus posing with our beloved Selena Gomez at the 2008's Teen Choice Awards. You know, there's a REASON why you pick an ugly person to be friends or to post with. So you would look PRETTIER! But there Miley is, standing so close to the hot Latina and thinking that if she grins from ear to ear than she might at least look half as pretty as the hot stuff next to her.

But Miley honey, that's not the trick u used to do! You must never EVER show your chipmunk teeth. People may confuse you for one of the Jonas Brothers (Yeah, we did say "Brothers". What, you think you look like a chick?). So let us remind you of how you define "sexy" in your poses.

Battle of Guilty Pleasures

2008-08-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

For all of you Selena Gomez fans (what do you mean, "It's just you two"?), be prepared to see the gorgeous teen in the upcoming movie, Another Cinderella Story. Here, Selena (Disney Channel’s The Wizards of Waverly Place) is Mary, a modern Cinderella complete with dancing shoes instead of a glass slipper. Drew Seeley (High School Musical on Tour) is Joey, a Prince Charming and dreamy new-guy-in-school looking for a girl to love (Watch the trailer here).

Speaking of dancing shoes, seems like Indonesian filmmakers are very eager to keep up with the dance movie trend and find an obvious way to make sure we would watch their shitty movie, that is to cast CINTA LAURA, the girl who makes us realize that the more we hate someone, the more we want to see what he/she does. We can NOT wait to see Cinta's movie.

In the meantime, we, again, have already imagined things that would really spice up the movie industry. What if Selena Gomez starred in the same dance movie as Cinta Laura...

Cinta : Hiii!
Selena : What's that screeching sound?
Cinta : Excuse you! I'm Chincha Lhawrah, the mhost thalenthed actrrress in Indhonhesiah...
Selena : "Grrahh.. Wrraaahh"? What DID you say, girl with the lips of a squid?
Cinta : I saaiidh, I'm Chinn-chaaah Lhaaaw-rraah! Andh I'm fromh Indhonaaysiah, you knowh? Bhut it's nawt rheally the Indhonaysianh accentt, coz i spenth many years in Ghermhany, therefore bhahasa saayha cidak lancarh..
Selena : I'm scared of you. You remind me of something just as scary... eyes that are so close to each other... those big chipmunk teeth... waitaminit... it's.. GAAARGGH! MILEY CYRUS!!!!
Cinta : Nouw-whayy! *waves hand in front of Selena* I would nawt whant tcoo bhe Miley. I have MUCCHH betterh taste in ghuys. I'm dhatingh Irwhansyah, for God's sake, yiii... Isn't he drreammyyh?
Selena : I don't care about who that Ir-what-not is.
Cinta : But yoouuhh? Don't you dhate Nick Jhonhas right nouw? wakakkakakak!
Selena : ....
Cinta : Hell tcoo the yeahh! I meanh, you're just a Miley wannabheh, whereas I, am compleetlyh uniqueh! That's what makes me a successful acttress. Not dath i nheed the moneyh, though. My dhad's a hotcel managher..
Selena : I get paid in Dollars.
Cinta : ....

We Can Be Nice, Too.

2008-07-31T06:53:00.000-07:00

Madonna's publicist is claiming the pictures of Madonna looking like shit were doctored. She says Madonna was looking as radiant as ever just days before. "People" magazine reports:

"I just think the photographer got a bad shot of her or it was touched up to make her look bad," says her rep Liz Rosenberg. "I saw Madonna two days before at her rehearsal and she looked amazing – glowing skin and working really hard on her show." (sumber: The Superficial)

*Sigh* Okay, we admit that we've been a bit too harsh on you, grandm.. we mean, Madonna. So, considering that fasting month is about to start, we offer a sincere and heartfelt apology for the picture we have posted, and presents her with the original, no touched-up ones that show Madonna in all her glory. We could only hope that other people we've hurt could forgive us as well. Now, if you see our fat.. err, "thick" college friend, we'd also like to tell her we're deeply sorry for saying that we got pale skin because her giant ass kept blocking the sun everytime we went out together. Huh...? Really? She's now in a psych ward?

Blah-son Takes a Walk

2008-07-31T06:08:00.000-07:00

We assume that since the boring-chick-with-such-an-annoying-voice Rachel Bilson starts her own fashion line, she would at least try to look a bit fashionable to convince some assholes to buy her things.

Stupid us.

Not only does she wear a pair of jeans circa 1990s that's ridiculously rolled up as if she's about to take wudhu, she's also apparently being environmentally friendly and decides to get creative with some doggy bags.

PRESENTING : HONOR MARIE WARREN

2008-07-31T01:40:00.000-07:00

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren welcomed their first child, daughter Honor Marie Warren, on June 7. Having a baby is "by far the most profound, beautiful thing we could have ever done," the actress tells OK!.

"Aww, I look like my daddy... Fuck it."

Miley Hates the Fact that She Reminds People of a Chipmunk

2008-07-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

Regarding the catfight that's been going on between Selena-Demi and the yucky-faced Mandy-Miley, we decided to do as much as we can to show our support for the soon-to-pose-nude-and-would-still-look-good-doing-it Selena Gomez by posting this link to her and Demi's Youtube video. We originally intended to pick a combined version of the two pairs' videos, but we got tired of puking everytime we heard Miley the Chipmunk's voice.

Watch the gorgeous Selena here.

Again, let's root for Selena Gomez! She's the only teen who looks good on the cover of a magazine.

Whereas Miley had done HER cover shoot and looked like an ass.

Are we sensing a deja vu? Do you also think that we've seen someone who looks ill just like her? We mean, this might be a picture she sent when auditioning for a role in a movie about, ahem, vampires.

Too bad for her, that part had already been taken by another pale-skinned loser.

Madonna, anyone?

2008-07-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

This is very disturbing.
For the sake of human kind, how can she let an image like that leak out.
Excuse us will ya, we had to call our therapist to erase this haunting image from our pure mind.

Warning : Not for the Weak-Hearted

scroll down to find out

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(...don't say we didn't warn ya)